I have always had some
participation in family councils. They may not have been perfect as described
by Elder Rulon G. Craven (quoted in Ballard, M.R., 1997, Counseling with Our Counsels, p. 46-49), but they were councils. My
parents would hold family council and still do to this day. My husband and I established family council
early in our marriage and still do though our children have left the nest. We
have now been reduced, primarily, to a council of two, though our children like
to give their input as they see fit on occasion. Of course, those types of family councils are
not formally called but are considered.
As I
read Elder Craven’s words, I realized that not all the family councils I have
participated in have been councils of harmony. I believe that they could have
been and will be when the following is considered: “I have noticed that each of
the Brethren is not so much concerned with expressing his own point of view as
he is with listening to the point of view of others and striving to create a proper
climate in the Council meetings” (quoted in Ballard, M.R., 1997 Counseling with Our Counsels, p. 47).
The disharmonized councils I have participated in have been rife with those who
demanded to be heard rather than to listen with love and concern.
What
can be done to help bring harmony to a council meeting? I believe following the
pattern that Elder Craven mentions will help. There is preparation for the
council meeting – an agenda is given the evening before so that each member has
the opportunity to read, ponder, and consider the items to be presented. As the
meeting commences, they express love and concern for each other then have a
prayer to invite the Spirit to be in attendance. The President of Twelve then addresses each
item on the agenda. One is appointed to present the item and then it is opened
for discussion. I believe because of the preparation, the love expressed, and
the desire to have the Spirit, the Brethren are then able to discuss and listen
to the points of view of others. They are humble enough to recognize they may
have a change of opinion. Once the President feels there is unity of thought,
he makes a recommendation then asks for any further discussion. A vote is
requested and taken. The vote must be unanimous.
There
are so many parts of this pattern that will facilitate the unanimous vote. Each
are important in their own right and together will create the harmony that is
necessary for the Church (and our families) to have peace in making decisions.
