Same Sex Marriage - You Be the Judge

I had never read the opinions by the Supreme court judges put forward in regards to the Obergefell v Hodges case which allowed for same-sex marriage to be recognized in all states of the Union.  It’s difficult to read through the law jargon but I think I understand what most of them were saying.

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                What I found interesting was how the dissenting judges took their fellow judges to task for making a political rather than a judicial statement on marriage. The majority judges make a political statement rather than looking at the Constitution and judging on the case. As Judge Roberts stated, “Supporters of same-sex marriage have achieved considerable success persuading their fellow citizens—through the democratic process—to adopt their view. That ends today. Five lawyers have closed the debate and enacted their own vision of marriage as a matter of constitutional law.  Stealing this issue from the people will for many cast a cloud over same-sex marriage, making a dramatic social change that much more difficult to accept.” These are pretty harsh words.

                He goes on to state that marriage has not had to be defined as “For all those millennia, across all those civilizations, ‘marriage’ referred to only one relationship: the union of a man and a woman.” I did a little research and found something on the Romans view of marriage just out of curiosity. Romans did not even sanction same-sex marriage though they, mainly men, were prone to having same-sex relationships.

                Though the Supreme Court (with a majority, not unanimous) has ruled that the definition of marriage is changed (as well as several other countries throughout the world) that does not really change the definition of marriage.  

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As President Nelson stated in his address at BYU in 2014, “Disciples of the Lord are defenders of marriage. We cannot yield. History is not our judge. A secular society is not our judge. God is our judge! For each of us, Judgment Day will be held in God’s own way and time. We cannot yield.” He continued with “Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God.” My favorite quote from his address though is “If they love Him, they will show that love by keeping His commandments,…”

                What does that last quote have to do with same-sex marriage? As we draw on our relationship with God, we want to naturally show our love for Him. He stated in the New Testament, “If you love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). I cannot find that God has changed the definition of marriage in the scriptures. In fact, in 1995, the prophet of God issued a proclamation which states, “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.” Whether, you believe in modern-day prophets or not, God has not changed His standard on marriage. If we love Him, then we will keep the commandment that marriage is between a man and a woman, not between two people of the same sex.

                Perhaps you don’t believe in God and thus the above commandment may not seem to apply to you. I would like to share what Judge Roberts wrote:  the rulings [Loving v Virginia, Zablocki v Redhail, Turner v Safley] as stated by the majority “did not; however, work any transformation in the core structure of marriage as a union between a man and a woman.” These rulings still conformed to the traditional definition of marriage between a man and a woman. He also states in regards to the arguments by the majority of the Due Process Clause, “Our precedents have accordingly insisted that judges ‘exercise the utmost care’ in identifying implied fundamental rights’ es the liberty protected by the Due Process Clause be subtly transformed into policy preferences of the Members of this Court.”

                I believe God instituted the law of marriage between a man and a woman. I know He has not revoked that law or changed it in any way. I also know that nine Supreme Court justices sit on a   

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bench and determine the interpretation of the Constitution. I believe those who are rejoicing on this ruling and those who are not, need to carefully review how this law was put into place. This is about the constitutionality of a law. The laws of this nation are to be determined by legislation or by vote per the U.S. Constitution not by nine judges who do not have to answer to the people of this nation. I do not want such of my constitutional rights taken from me.  Do you?

Divorce - what should be done?

DIVORCE.  What a difficult topic to begin a series of blogposts on marriage.

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Personally, I have never experienced this heart wrenching event.  I have had family members who have though. I have had friends who have experienced divorce. It is difficult.  Marriage is difficult. 

I was raised in a two-parent, biological parent home.  My grandparents on both sides for generations back have not been divorced. I remember growing up that it seemed so sad when I found out that classmates were from divorced homes.  I marveled at how they were able to live in such a situation.  My close friends though were not from divorced homes.  I don’t think I purposely shunned those who were from divorced homes, we just didn’t have other things in common.  Since reading Paul Amato’s article entitled “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation” though I have received a bit of understanding perhaps why.  Not only were our family lives dissimilar but they had less chance of succeeding in school (which I was prone to do) and be involved in activities (church, lessons) in which I was involved. 

This distance from non-divorced changed dramatically when I went to college.  I attended a church-sponsored school and ALL of my roommates came from divorced homes.  These young women became my best friends while attending school that year.  We did everything together (well, almost).  I learned from them that when parents are actively involved in their children’s lives they can succeed at so many of the same things I did.  We would talk into the early morning hours about marriage.  I learned a lot about marriage during those discussions.  Thankfully, they came from families where the custodial parent tried hard to keep them central in their lives.  There was some acrimony towards the non-custodial parent but it was minimal.  The custodial parent seemed to try hard not to dwell on the bad (though it was difficult at times). They seemed primed to break the trend their parents had set.  I have since lost contact with most of them, but those who I have kept contact with are in stable marriages.

How did they escape the trend? I know it’s through taking the advice of leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ about marriage.  They married the right person, at the right time, in the right place to begin with.

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As most “courtships” at Church sponsored schools are a whirlwind affair, we all prayed together to help them know if the relationship was the best for them.  There were break ups (and college heart aches) during those college years as they learned that some relationships were not the right one for them.. Just marrying in the temple though, does not guarantee a happy, eternal marriage.  Being married in the Temple of the Lord is just the beginning.  After that comes the difficult work. 

It was interesting to me that the two secular articles I read had ambiguous solutions to the fixing the deterioration of marriage. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, though, in 2007 gave some solid solutions to “fixing” a marriage in trouble. First, was to overcome selfishness – consider the impact that divorce will have on your children.  He also addressed that counseling with one’s bishop, repentance, reformation, forgiveness, and prayer will help to bring a couple back together. These may seem like simplistic solutions to a complex problem, but wouldn’t it be worth it to try? Of course, he did not advocate staying in an abusive marriage.

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I’d like to end with this quote from Elder Oaks:  “Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing.  If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect life, we seek healing again and again.  The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.”

How do you think marriages can be saved from divorce?

The Drill

A number of summers ago, all of our children were gone for the summer.  To replace the long text messages, I started emailing them daily.  At the end of the email, I would state "Remember The Drill!"

What is The Drill, you may ask?  It is the doing the following, EVERY DAY:  Read your scriptures.  Say your prayers.  Do service.  Keep the commandments.  Walk for 15 minutes a day.  Drink water.  Eat a banana.  Get your sleep.

When we still lived in Tooele, Utah, I attended a parenting class.  The instructor mentioned that if her child was acting up, she would first determine if the child was hungry, thirsty, or tired.  She said that a lot of the time that would curb the inappropriate behavior.  That intrigued me and I took that counsel home with me.

At church, I've been instructed to read my scriptures and say my prayers.  Of course, we're always told to keep the commandments.  These seemed like good additional counsel to add to those admonitions above.

So why are these 8 instructions so important to a person's day?  Why might these instructions help someone have a better day if they are not having the best day?

Let's begin with say your prayers.  Can you imagine a better way to begin your day than to commune with God?  I believe this act gets you in the right frame of mind.  This act allows you to be open to the Spirit of God in your life, to receive His direction throughout your day.  Because of prayer, I have received innumerable impressions and moments of inspiration that have helped me along my life's journey.

Read your scriptures.  This is one way God can commune with us.  Perhaps, we have something we're concerned about and have asked for guidance in our prayers.  I have had guidance given to me as I read the scriptures for something I have prayed about.  Since I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I also have additional scripture than the Bible from which I read.  I read from the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price, as well as the General Conference addresses (not all in one day!).

Do service. I would like to quote a scripture from Mosiah 2:17 in the Book of Mormon, "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."  I believe that when you're feeling down, one of the best ways to get up is to help someone else.  It can be as simple as smile or a kind word or as grandiose as a full blown service project - like cleaning someone's home.

Keep the commandments.  We are blessed in our obedience.  The commandments seem to begin with the 10 from Exodus, but when Christ was asked which was the greatest commandment, He encompassed all those commandments plus many more by saying "...Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself " (Matthew 22:37-39).  Consider any commandment - keep the Sabbath day holy, pay your tithing, don't lie, love your enemies...they all are part of His admonition to love God and love thy neighbor.  If you're struggling with keeping a commandment (and aren't we all?), consider how the world would be a better place if you would do your part to keep that one commandment.

God gave us bodies to take care of and use for His good.  So we must do all we can to maintain them.

Get enough sleep.  Our bodies need to be rejuvenated through rest.  There are studies a plenty stating that sleep is good for your physical as well as your mental health.  If our physical and mental health are doing well, then that will enhance our emotional and spiritual health as well.  If you're not dragging from lack of sleep, can you imagine all you will be able to accomplish?

Eat a banana.  My children are tall.  And they suffered quite a bit from shin splints as they were growing.  We learned that if they ate a banana it would help alleviate some of that pain.  It's about getting good food into your body that will help (re)build your body and give it the energy it needs so you can accomplish great things.  It's hard to concentrate when your tummy is rumblin'.

Walk (at least) 15 minutes a day.  We found that in our sedentary lifestyle that our bodies get restless.  They were made to move.  If my children were restless (we home schooled them their elementary and secondary school years), we would go for a walk around the neighborhood (or I would make them run outside).  This seemed to help the "wiggles" that accompanied many a school day.

Drink water.  Our bodies need water so the body will function.  If we don't drink water, our brains can become foggy.  If we don't drink water, our bodies - limbs and organs - suffer.  Water is life giving.

Let's think about it for a moment.  If our physical bodies need water then wouldn't our spiritual bodies need Living Water as well?  We are in this cycle of giving our bodies physical water and our spiritual bodies Living Water from our daily commune with God through scripture reading and prayer.

Remember The Drill!

What are some daily instructions you incorporate in your life that help you through your day?

Why a Business Needs a Website

 In this day and age it seems impossible that anyone would have a business without a website.  Yet, there are some businesses that do not have a website to represent their business online.  Why is a website so important to any business these days?  I believe a website is important to a company’s image and as a source of outreach to their clientele.  I know I look first for a website when I have an interest in a company.  I often judge them on their online presence.

            According to an article Nicole Leinbach-Reyhle wrote, people will search Google, Yelp or Facebook before they will visit you in person (Leinbach-Reyhle, 2014).  This is significant.  I know if someone tells me about a company, I check first to see if they have a website.  A website gives me information about what the company has to offer.  If I’m interested in purchasing from the company, then I will check out reviews about the company.  I live in the Atlanta, Georgia area and there are lots of restaurants.  Before I visit a restaurant, I will look at their website and read reviews about it.  There have been occasions when I have not eaten at a restaurant because I could not find them online.

            A website gives a company a way to market their product.  An article written on GoDaddy states that a website will be an anchor for marketing, a way to sell online, help connect with new customers, as well as they are affordable (Perilli, 2015).  I know that I do not want to launch my business until I have created a viable website that shows I’m serious about my product and my company.  “Whether you are a one man or woman show or operate with 100 employees, your website should appear as if you have a team dedicated exclusively to keeping your online presence strong and noteworthy (Leinbach-Reyhle, 2014)”.  This statement shows that a website will give you credibility in the fast-paced world of today’s businesses.

            I use a company’s website to learn about the company – their vision, their backstory, their passion.  I also look at their products/services to determine if they are what I am looking for.  I am also interested in how they interact with their clients – whether it is through tutorials, customer service, or blog posts.  If they are interacting with their client base, I feel more confident in doing business with them.  It is as Ms. Leinbach-Reyhle stated, “Window shopping isn’t what it use to be (Leinbach-Reyhle, 2014).”  I window shop by visiting online first. 

            “An effective website is the cornerstone of your company – it houses important information, and your customers expect you to have one (Perilli, 2015).”  This is a true.  If one is serious about being in business these days, one must have a functioning, informative website.  One that will market to their clientele.  Thus, not every website will be the same as each target market is different.  A company’s website today is as important today as a business having a well laid out showroom in the past.

References

Leinbach-Reyhle, Nicole (2014 September 24) 3 Reasons Websites Are Vital for Small Businesses,www.forbes.com

Perilli, Raubi Marie (2015 October 2) 7 Reasons You Need a Small Business Website, www.godaddy.com

NOTE:  This post is for my SMM140 class, thus it is written in APA.  I like it.  I think it gives credibility to my writing.  

How to begin a business

I'm determined to start a business this year.  I have lots of ideas which have been floating around in my head but I haven't brought them to fruition.  Well, this will be the year.

So how does one start a business?  I don't know.  That's what I'm going to learn this semester through my classes.  I'm currently taking B283 (Small Business Creation) and three Social Media Marketing classes (SMM105 - Intro to SMM, SMM130 - Social Media Content, and SMM140 - Web Design).  I have also enlisted the services of a SCORE mentor.

What will I be doing?  I have extensive training in clothing construction.  I have been doing research on convertible clothing and sarongs and sarong siblings for the past 10 years.  I'm developing a clothing line sorta and hope to write at least two books.  I know that sounds wishy-washy.  The business plan is in the works to help me identify my focus and schedule.

Me with lots of sarongs and saris

If you haven't had the opportunity to visit BYU-I Online www.byui.edu/ course offering, I suggest you give them a try.  The tuition is reasonable.  The courses are challenging.  The instructors great.  I'm in my second semester of entrepreneurial classes and my first semester of social media marketing.  The entrepreneurial classes have helped me establish that I want to have a business and have given me comfort to know that I can do this.  The social media marketing classes are kicking my butt!  I like technology, but  I don't know much about it.  I have successful pattered with HTML and CSS which is a major breakthrough for me. 

So, how are these classes of worth?  The B283 class requires $100 challenge.  Through this challenge we are required to set up a micro business with $20 capital and earn at least $100 to which we will then donate the proceeds to www.kiva.org, an organization that gives loans to entrepreneurs.  Through this process we will learn how to create a business plan, execute it and market.  This will give me the experience I need to start my own business plan.  

The social media marketing classes teach me how create authentic content, create good content, and use the various social media platforms.  I'm learning the rules of etiquette for each social media platform.  I'm learning about hashtags.  I'm learning about apps that enhance the content to make them better.  I know that social media marketing is the way of the future and I want to use it to its fullest extent.

So how do I begin a business?  I begin by gathering the tools I need to succeed.  I identified that I needed business acumen to begin the task properly.  Thus, I 'm taking entrepreneurial classes as well as requested a SCORE mentor.   What I have learned so far is that it is difficult to be an entrepreneur.  I also learned, I'd rather have tried to be an entrepreneur than to let my ideas and knowledge go with me in the grave.

I identified that for a micro business (I want my business really small) the best way to market is through social media.  The rectangular sisters and their cohorts are going to be promoted through educational posts. Learning how to use a piece of cloth in multiple ways will take some education.  Learning about social media will help me to do this effectively and creatively.  I'm only in my fourth week of classes and I've gained a huge appreciation for photographers and videographers.   To bring off a quality product requires blood, sweat and tears - and lots of patience.  I'm also learning how to create a website which will be my storefront.  Just as one would have to build and decorate a storefront, one has to do this for a website.  I do realize that most business owners do not

build or remodel their own storefronts, but some do.  They want the layout to be just so and I want the same for my storefront.

So when will all of this happen?  My goal is as I do my schoolwork I will concurrently use the tools I'm learning to develop my business.  I'm sure there will be a few weeks lag time, but look for the opening of my store in April 2018.

And as a final note, I enlisted my friends to help with beginning my business.  The first step was to ask for help on the business name.  They are brainstorming geniuses. 

Support and encouragement are essential to beginning a business. 

What do you need to start a business?  What tools or skills do you need to acquire to bring your ideas to fruition?

Last lecture? Really?!!

We have a joke in my family about lectures.  I’m notorious for giving my children lectures.  Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t.  That is human nature.

If I was to give my last lecture based on what I have learned this semester in my entrepreneurship class, the first piece of advice I would offer would be, take this class.  I don’t think I learned anything earth shattering in this class, but I did learn to evaluate my life, my values, my dreams, myself in a systematic way which has caused me to understand myself better.  There have been moments of doubt whether I’m cut out to be an entrepreneur, but then I realized that our entire life is about being an entrepreneur – making something better out of our lives than what we started with.  One may not start a business to be an entrepreneur, but one can make an impact on the world.  The principles learned in this class will help each one of us make a positive impact on the world.

Another piece of advice I’d offer based on taking this class is carefully choose your partners in life.  This includes your eternal companion, your work companions, your play companions, your business partner.  One person in your life could possibly wear all those hats, but you may have a plethora of people to fulfill these roles in your life.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or any Christian organization for that matter) we are taught to help others, not shun others, not put others down.  So how is this to be accomplished if we surround ourselves only with the best?  As in the instructions given on the airplane prior to take off, one is told to put one’s oxygen mask on first and then help others.  We each need to have our “oxygen mask” on first before we can go out and help others.  This means make sure our personal foundation is sure, we have a great support structure of companions and then we can go out to help others.  Just because we go into a place to help others, does not mean we need to take on their negative life choices.  Through our personal foundation and those we choose to surround ourselves with who reinforce our personal foundation, we can then go in with our oxygen mask and lift up the weary and downtrodden.

  

One last piece of advice I would give is ask questions.  This is not the same as questioning something.  I believe President Dieter F. Uchtdorf says it best, “Doubt your doubts, before you doubt your faith.”  I have faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and those He has appointed to lead the Church.  I have faith in chosen mentors and principles.  I may not understand everything a mentor shares or a principle taught, but I know the foundation is sure.  I keep asking questions until I understand.  My journey of understanding may give me a different perspective to the truth than those who taught me.  Then I will have added to the conversation that makes each principle stand the test of time.

This will probably not be my last lecture, but it is my last lecture for this class at this time.  I’m sure as I review and use the principles I have learned I will have other conversations about them. 

Winding down and winding up

The semester is winding down.  I’m glad.  I don’t like going to school.  At the halfway mark, I was wondering what I was doing.  But I plowed on and have almost completed this semester.  I thoroughly enjoyed my classes.  I have learned so much.  I’m actually surprised that many of questions about being an entrepreneur have been answered.  This has never happened before in my life.  That is one reason I gave up on my education several decades ago.  My questions weren’t being answered.  I know I probably should regret not finishing my degree decades ago, but I don’t.  My education was to be completed at this time.  I was looking for the educational model that fit me and I have found it through BYU-Idaho online. 

What I have learned this semester will not fit in a single blogpost, but what I learned of value this week for me what that I can close an experience and not feel like I failed.  I have a product idea.  I have a product launch idea.  I have a vague business plan.  And now, I feel I can go forward.  I only ask that I get back the money I venture on the product and I’m pretty sure I can do that.  While I do this process to get a product launched, I now know I can learn a lot and use it to launch my next big idea.  But, the product and myself may surprise me and we will not only launch but may have longevity.  Then, I will have another set of challenges to overcome.  Either way, I’m excited to give it a try.  There are stones in the path and dragons to overcome and despair to face, but with my newfound knowledge, I feel I can become the hero I’m meant to be.