7 Habits revisited

The question I began with this semester is “What do you do once you’ve reached your goal?”  I’m grateful that I have read The Mastery by George Leonard.  I now understand that goals are milestones along the journey of life.

This week we were given a summary of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.  I had read this book almost 20 years ago during a debilitating illness.  It helped in my recovery.  It was a pleasant reunion to revisit the principles he wrote about in this book.  This is one book I recommend to all to read.  I do so because I believe in the habits he purports.  Though not always proactive, I do strive to be proactive in what I feel is important.  Beginning with the end in mind helps any goal become achievable.  When the end sight is lost in the miasma of life, the ability to accomplish the goal loses steam or is lost all together.  (Consider those who got lost in the mists of darkness as portrayed in Lehi’s Dream – 1 Nephi 8:21-23.)  I especially appreciate the habit, put first things first.  As discussed in our class earlier, what will really matter at the end of our lives?  What we have done?  Or who we have loved?  I think my favorite habit though is think win/win.  I’m extremely competitive to the point I don’t like myself when I’m involved with a competition.  Over the years, I’ve learned ways which work for me to overcome this shortcoming.  I have tried to instill in our children that when they help others win, they will win even more.  And I truly believe this principle.  Recently, I visited a competition in my home state.  I observed the blue ribbons and thought, “Hmm.  I can do better than this.”  At first, I was disappointed in my reaction, like I’m better than everyone else.  But, on further reflection, I realized that yes, I did have a bit of ego going on, I can turn that around and hopefully, through my efforts, I can help others become better.  The fifth habit listed is seek first to understand, then to be understood.  Let’s just say, through true confessions, I have a lot of work to do on this habit.  I also love the habit, synergize.  This was very evident in my home growing up.  My family always had a huge garden to feed us and others.  My mom teamed up with her best friend’s family and we would garden and harvest together.  Those harvest times are some of my fondest memories. That’s synergy, we accomplished a lot more working together than we would have done separately.   And the last habit, sharpen the saw goes along with the beginning of my post.  Keep making goals to help one move along the pathway of life.

I’m grateful for this class, B183, Entrepreneurship.  I knew it wouldn’t have me start a business as it states this in the class description, but I didn’t expect to learn so much either.  This class has answered questions about why I haven’t been able to do certain things, why I respond to things a certain way, and has given me hope as well as understanding about my future.  Even at half a century, one can learn to become better.

Mastery, how?

I appreciate the master keys of mastery as outlined by George Leonard in his book, Mastery.  I’m still trying to find all of them palatable and digestible.

 

The first key: Instruction, I get.  A master instructor is important in any successful endeavor.  The criteria Mr. Leonard sets forth to determine if the instructor is worthy of his/her title – how do the students interact with the instructor, 50/50 correction/praise – makes sense.  Yet, in our world, very few have the opportunity to choose their instructors.  (Warning: I’m getting on my soapbox.)  Many people are exposed to a system that chooses their instructors.  Quite a few of the instructors are not worthy of the title.  Many students spend a good portion of their younger (dare I say, formative) years instructed by instructors that may not be worthy of the title.  Or are caught in a system that doesn’t allow the instructors to be the best they can be.  (You judge.)  Where does that leave the individual?

The second key: Practice, I also get.  Practice makes perfect or so the saying goes.  According to George Leonard, mastery leads to more practice.  “If you stay on it long enough (path to mastery), you’ll find it to be a vivid place, with its ups and downs, its challenges and comforts, its surprises, disappointments, and unconditional joys.”  Accordingly, our current American society doesn’t promote practice.  It may applaud it when the results are seen, but it doesn’t promote it.  (Again, the soapbox.)  A child spends approximately 5 hours a week in a class taught by “an instructor” with instructions to go home to do another ½ hour to 2 hours of homework – we’ll average, 10 practice hours a week.  This child will spend 18 weeks to 36 weeks in the class.  If I did my math correctly, it means the child spent 180 hours to 360 hours to “master” a subject.  Even in my current education pursuit, the most hours I’ll have towards my chosen field will be 2,500 hours.  It’s often quoted that mastery takes 10,000 hours.  This is not effective practice towards mastery.

The third key: Surrender is the key I’m trying to find palatable.  I discussed this with my husband.  I don’t trust easily, especially educational pursuits.  I can probably count on my ten fingers the instructors I have trusted.  I really disliked Mr. Leonard’s use of the word “pratfall”.  I would not act the fool, willingly, for anyone.  Now, would I be willing to make mistakes to gain competence?  Yes.  And I have.  A master instructor would not require his student to be foolish.  That does not lead to mastery.  That leads to discouragement and distrust.  I would have to trust the instructor to follow instructions to allow myself to make mistakes, especially if I felt I would look foolish.  I do understand, according to Mr. Leonard, that before a student would place himself in the hands of a master instructor, he would vet the instructor.  But, vetting also takes experience and many students do not have the experience to do that (and neither do many parents).

The fourth key: Intentionality is something I’m learning.  I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was going through the steps of a crunch, but I wasn’t getting the benefits.  I realized I wasn’t committed to it or doing it intentionally.  Many students do not receive the benefits of an education because they are not committed to the education they are offered.  They are not willing to practice and definitely not surrender because they know instinctively that the effort is not something they want to pursue or they are not being taught by a master teacher. 

The fifth key: The Edge is dangerous.  I appreciated that Mr. Leonard gave caution to this key.  It’s a balance, one that is honed by the experience of the other four keys.  He gave the example of the heroic endeavor of Julie Moss to finish the triathlon.  I’m still not sure if I agree with Jim McKay the sportscaster or the doctor who stated it was stupid.  Was her endeavor really necessary?  Perhaps, to her it was.  If she had died from that endeavor, did she leave behind loved ones who would have questioned her dedication to something that probably didn’t forward or help humankind?  The Edge needs to be given careful consideration prior to walking it.

Let me illustrate my soapbox for you.  When I was in junior high, I managed to get into a geometry class.  I’m not particularly bright when it comes to math, probably due to a lack of desire, but someone thought I could handle it.  I didn’t question the opportunity.  My parents didn’t question the opportunity.  (I’m not blaming my parents!).  Come September, I began the geometry class.  I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.  I did all sorts of contortions to remain in the class (because that indicated my social status).  My instructor didn’t know how to teach the material so I could learn (nor do I think he cared).   I did put in, at least, the 360 hours to gain my “mastery” of the class.  Years later, I realized two things: one, if someone had taken the time to explain that doing Euclidian geometry was similar to writing an essay (I do fairly well in the language arts), I would have had much more success, and second, my son (at the same junior high level I was at when I took geometry), who learned and understood geometry easily, took a few minutes to explain some geometric facts to me and I got it.  He was not a master teacher by definition.  He had enough mastery, I was willing to give him the time to practice, I surrendered to looking “a fool” in front of my much younger son, I knew what I wanted to learn and together we walked that edge to grasp the concepts of geometry.  That may not be mastery of geometry, but it was a lesson.

I think what I’m trying to say is that many get discouraged to obtain mastery because of the conditioning of our society.  I’m not saying we cannot rise above it, but it is difficult.  Hope is needed to overcome this conditioning.  I’m not blaming teachers.  I’m not blaming students.  I’m not blaming anyone.  I’m merely presenting a fact that mastery is a difficult proposition in the current environment.  

Hero's Journey

Because I didn't read the assignment as closely as I should have initially, you are blessed to have two blog posts from me in one week.

Three questions are asked at the completion of the hero’s journey:

1) Have I contributed something meaningful?

2) Am I a good person?

3) Who did I love and who loved me?

As I’m in my latter middle years, I have lived a good portion of my life.  My husband and I have almost raised all of our children to adulthood.  I believe through these children, which was my primary responsibility for the last quarter century, I have contributed something meaningful.  They are good people.  They are striving to be better.  They, according to our religion, have contributed something and will continue to contribute to their families, their community and their church.  Due to the worldly environment I was raised in, for the longest time, I did not think I had accomplished much of meaning.  I hadn’t discovered the cure for cancer.  I hadn’t written a great novel.  I hadn’t created the most wondrous painting.  Now I know that our children are my greatest accomplishment.  And this has eternal meaning.

Am I good person?  I believe I am at the core.  And it’s because of my continued effort to live the gospel of Jesus Christ, that I am that person at the core.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not even the best.  I can see though I am making progress, and I know I can continue to make progress as long as I continue on this path with Jesus Christ.  It is a continual struggle.  I fall down.  I’m mean to others.  I don’t do my best.  I do realize my shortcomings, repent, and do better.  And the cycle begins again.  I am spiraling upwards though.  Spiraling up towards becoming more like my Savior.

Who do I love and who loved me?  I love my family – my immediate family, my extended family and now through family history research, I’m learning to love my ancestors.  I love my future family – those grandbabies.  I love my friends.  And I’m learning to love all of God’s children.  I have conflicts with a good number of them, but I’m trying to see them through His eyes rather than through my natural eyes.  And who loves me?  We joke in our family about “couch sessions”.  This is the opportunity for our children to come and just complain to mom about how awful she really is.  By the end of most of these sessions, each child comes to realize that “awful” mom is really just trying to help him or her become better.  And they always end with “I love you, Mom.  Thank you.”  One time one of my daughters tried this on grandma and grandma was appalled at how awful my daughter spoke about me.  Again, at the end of the “session” my daughter reaffirmed that she loved me and was grateful that I was “mean”. 

But, my life isn’t over.  I have more to accomplish.  That is one reason why I’m sticking with this entrepreneurship class.  I want to discover what else I need and can do that has meaning.  I want to continue to be a good person.  And I want to love more.  

Possibilities and using Mastery

As I listened to David Friedberg’s address “Most Entrepreneurs are Not Rock Stars” and he mentioned using the resources of another company to get your idea produced,  this idea struck me.  I had not considered that possibility.  And when I heard it, an explosion of possibilities came to mind.  Granted, I’m not sure how to use the explosion of possibilities and they will have to be explored, then determined viable, and then acted upon – but it was nice to have a new avenue open up to me that I had not before seen.  It will be interesting to see if this avenue is viable.  And I know whether it’s viable or not, I will have learned some things of importance that will help me on this journey of entrepreneurship.

I’m actually considering marrying my idea of a product with my soon to be acquired skills in social media marketing.  As I learn more about social media marketing, I believe I will be able to determine if I can launch my product on my own or if it will be better to launch with someone else.

A couple of weeks ago, I posed the question about “What do you do when you’ve reached your goal?”  As I’ve been reading Mastery by George Leonard, I think I may have found my answer though I’m not sure.  Is completing a goal a beginning of a plateau?  That is the new question.  I will explore this question as I work towards my goals and accomplish them.

This week I decided to take my mastery and use it.  I’m an accomplished seamstress, but I don’t use my mastery often – it has definitely plateaued.  I often get bogged down in the details or day-to-day life.  This week I decided I was going to DO something rather than just dream or write about it.  Recently, I have been perusing some design books on T-shirt reconstructions.  I decided I was going to reconstruct a T-shirt.  I found an old T-shirt, looked at the design, found the other necessary supplies – scissors, thread, needle and got to work.  I cut the T-shirt but modified the book design to make it modest.  Then I added my own twist to the handsewing.  I’m old school.  You don’t leave hems and seams unfinished.  I’m finding ways to keep the “new” idea and marry it to the “old school” of finish.  Once finished, I think I’ll be happy with it.  The T-shirt isn’t quite complete or I’d post a picture.  So far though, I’m almost happy with the results.  One portion didn’t turn out to my satisfaction and this reconstruction there isn’t anything I can do about it in keeping with the repurposing of a T-shirt.  In the future, I know that if I want this particular design detail to be more pronounced, the gathering, then I need to use a larger T-shirt and will have to do some fitting.

Mastery needs not only to be accomplished but used is what I took from my learning and experience this week.

Confronting fear

This week in the Entrepreneurship class we had an activity that caused us to write about our fears.  Apparently, this is a practice that has been around for centuries, from the Roman orator Seneca.  It was interesting to me that I as reflected on my fears, I didn’t have as many as I thought I did and two of the three that I wrote about I hadn’t realize how deep they had been buried in my psyche.  How this exercise is done is: 1) write down the fear, 2) write strategies how to mitigate the fear, and 3) how would one get back to the status quo if this fear actually happened.

The first fear I wrote about is starting a business and then having it fail. The other “buried” fears were about personal relationships and health.  I found it interesting as I worked through this exercise that I all ready had strategies in place to mitigate the risks of my fears.  I’m fairly confident the strategies I have in place will insure success and the fears will be unrealized.  As I wrote about how to get back to the status quo, I realized it wasn’t so bad.  It wouldn’t be pleasant during the journey back, but it wouldn’t kill me either.

So what are your fears?  Can you write them down and do this exercise?  I do promise that it will help give you some peace of mind.