Hero's Journey

Because I didn't read the assignment as closely as I should have initially, you are blessed to have two blog posts from me in one week.

Three questions are asked at the completion of the hero’s journey:

1) Have I contributed something meaningful?

2) Am I a good person?

3) Who did I love and who loved me?

As I’m in my latter middle years, I have lived a good portion of my life.  My husband and I have almost raised all of our children to adulthood.  I believe through these children, which was my primary responsibility for the last quarter century, I have contributed something meaningful.  They are good people.  They are striving to be better.  They, according to our religion, have contributed something and will continue to contribute to their families, their community and their church.  Due to the worldly environment I was raised in, for the longest time, I did not think I had accomplished much of meaning.  I hadn’t discovered the cure for cancer.  I hadn’t written a great novel.  I hadn’t created the most wondrous painting.  Now I know that our children are my greatest accomplishment.  And this has eternal meaning.

Am I good person?  I believe I am at the core.  And it’s because of my continued effort to live the gospel of Jesus Christ, that I am that person at the core.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not even the best.  I can see though I am making progress, and I know I can continue to make progress as long as I continue on this path with Jesus Christ.  It is a continual struggle.  I fall down.  I’m mean to others.  I don’t do my best.  I do realize my shortcomings, repent, and do better.  And the cycle begins again.  I am spiraling upwards though.  Spiraling up towards becoming more like my Savior.

Who do I love and who loved me?  I love my family – my immediate family, my extended family and now through family history research, I’m learning to love my ancestors.  I love my future family – those grandbabies.  I love my friends.  And I’m learning to love all of God’s children.  I have conflicts with a good number of them, but I’m trying to see them through His eyes rather than through my natural eyes.  And who loves me?  We joke in our family about “couch sessions”.  This is the opportunity for our children to come and just complain to mom about how awful she really is.  By the end of most of these sessions, each child comes to realize that “awful” mom is really just trying to help him or her become better.  And they always end with “I love you, Mom.  Thank you.”  One time one of my daughters tried this on grandma and grandma was appalled at how awful my daughter spoke about me.  Again, at the end of the “session” my daughter reaffirmed that she loved me and was grateful that I was “mean”. 

But, my life isn’t over.  I have more to accomplish.  That is one reason why I’m sticking with this entrepreneurship class.  I want to discover what else I need and can do that has meaning.  I want to continue to be a good person.  And I want to love more.  

Possibilities and using Mastery

As I listened to David Friedberg’s address “Most Entrepreneurs are Not Rock Stars” and he mentioned using the resources of another company to get your idea produced,  this idea struck me.  I had not considered that possibility.  And when I heard it, an explosion of possibilities came to mind.  Granted, I’m not sure how to use the explosion of possibilities and they will have to be explored, then determined viable, and then acted upon – but it was nice to have a new avenue open up to me that I had not before seen.  It will be interesting to see if this avenue is viable.  And I know whether it’s viable or not, I will have learned some things of importance that will help me on this journey of entrepreneurship.

I’m actually considering marrying my idea of a product with my soon to be acquired skills in social media marketing.  As I learn more about social media marketing, I believe I will be able to determine if I can launch my product on my own or if it will be better to launch with someone else.

A couple of weeks ago, I posed the question about “What do you do when you’ve reached your goal?”  As I’ve been reading Mastery by George Leonard, I think I may have found my answer though I’m not sure.  Is completing a goal a beginning of a plateau?  That is the new question.  I will explore this question as I work towards my goals and accomplish them.

This week I decided to take my mastery and use it.  I’m an accomplished seamstress, but I don’t use my mastery often – it has definitely plateaued.  I often get bogged down in the details or day-to-day life.  This week I decided I was going to DO something rather than just dream or write about it.  Recently, I have been perusing some design books on T-shirt reconstructions.  I decided I was going to reconstruct a T-shirt.  I found an old T-shirt, looked at the design, found the other necessary supplies – scissors, thread, needle and got to work.  I cut the T-shirt but modified the book design to make it modest.  Then I added my own twist to the handsewing.  I’m old school.  You don’t leave hems and seams unfinished.  I’m finding ways to keep the “new” idea and marry it to the “old school” of finish.  Once finished, I think I’ll be happy with it.  The T-shirt isn’t quite complete or I’d post a picture.  So far though, I’m almost happy with the results.  One portion didn’t turn out to my satisfaction and this reconstruction there isn’t anything I can do about it in keeping with the repurposing of a T-shirt.  In the future, I know that if I want this particular design detail to be more pronounced, the gathering, then I need to use a larger T-shirt and will have to do some fitting.

Mastery needs not only to be accomplished but used is what I took from my learning and experience this week.

Confronting fear

This week in the Entrepreneurship class we had an activity that caused us to write about our fears.  Apparently, this is a practice that has been around for centuries, from the Roman orator Seneca.  It was interesting to me that I as reflected on my fears, I didn’t have as many as I thought I did and two of the three that I wrote about I hadn’t realize how deep they had been buried in my psyche.  How this exercise is done is: 1) write down the fear, 2) write strategies how to mitigate the fear, and 3) how would one get back to the status quo if this fear actually happened.

The first fear I wrote about is starting a business and then having it fail. The other “buried” fears were about personal relationships and health.  I found it interesting as I worked through this exercise that I all ready had strategies in place to mitigate the risks of my fears.  I’m fairly confident the strategies I have in place will insure success and the fears will be unrealized.  As I wrote about how to get back to the status quo, I realized it wasn’t so bad.  It wouldn’t be pleasant during the journey back, but it wouldn’t kill me either.

So what are your fears?  Can you write them down and do this exercise?  I do promise that it will help give you some peace of mind.  

Good habits

I walk most mornings around my neighborbood.  This morning because of a good habit, I did  and composed a wonderful blog post in my head.  I should have come home and immediately typed it up.

Ah now I remember the composition:

This past week I’ve had time “off” from watching my “babies”.  I generally care for two little girls throughout the week but due to a school break and other events, I wasn’t scheduled to watch them.  Monday morning, I realized I didn’t need to get up at my normal time and begin my day because I didn’t have my normal responsibilities.  I did have responsibilities to complete but nothing to get me out of bed at my normal time.  Then I considered some of my goals – and was grateful for habits, good habits. 

I don’t like to exercise but because I have a goal to be healthy, I got up and did my exercise routine. 

I don’t like to do school but because I have a goal to learn, I got up and did my schoolwork.

I don’t like to do dishes but because I have a goal to make my home a more pleasant place to reside, I got up and did dishes. 

I wouldn’t have been able to do these responsibilities if they hadn’t have become habits – good habits.

These good habits helped me accomplish my steps towards my goals.  Bad habits can pull us in the opposite direction – keep us from accomplishing our goals.  I work hard to overcome my bad habit to not exercise.  I can find all sorts of excuses to not exercise but because I have worked hard to establish the good habit to exercise, I was able to overcome my natural tendencies to NOT exercise.  And every time I work on the good habit it strengthens something within me to keep going.

Yeah for good habits!

2nd week and considering

This week we were given two assignments - one to write a 50 item bucket list and the other was to create a Stars and Steppingstones Chart.  Well, according to the reading, I'm kinda too old to be doing a Stars and Steppingstones Chart.  The first level of stepping stones as one works backwards is 70-50.  I fall into that age category.  So it seems  that I have no stars left to chart...

Yet, I had to do a 50 item bucket list.  What was I going to put on that bucket list?  We watched video clips from the movie, The Bucket List and listened to the theme (?) song.  I know I don't want to go skydiving, or drive a car at high speeds (though that was one of my bucket list items in my twenties, never did it and now I don't want to).  But what do I want to do with the rest of my life?  As I pondered this, I considered what I would have put on my bucket list at 20 and I have achieved most of those items.  I wanted to be married in the temple, I wanted children, I wanted to raise children, I wanted an education.  I got things I didn't want on my list like a mortgage and living in Utah for 20 years.

But to partially answer my question from last week, where do I go from here?  I go forward.  I do still have stars that I want to reach even though I'm over 50.  I particularly like what Brother Jeffrey A. Thompson said during his June 1, 2010 BYU devotional address about talents and abilities as he delineated Martin Luther's understanding of work, "If you grew up in a cobbler shop, your calling was to devote yourself to making shoes.  And doing so, you participated in the work of God by covering the feet of His children.  Luther believed that virtually any type of work could be a calling, so long as it rendered service to mankind."  Brother Thompson further discussed John Calvin's take on Martin Luther's insights with "...[H]e argued that God endows each of us with particular talents and gifts, and that it is our calling to discover those gifts and to seek out ways to use them in service our fellowmen."

So in this dusk of my life, I can now use my accumulated talents to help others draw nearer to God.  What a wonderful gift this will be.

For the class assignment, we were asked to consider the following questions from Randy Pausch's Last Lecture:

Why do you think Randy Pausch was able to achieve so many of his childhood dreams?  I think he was able to achieve so many of his dreams because he had a clear focus as well as parents, friends, and mentors who were willing to help him along with his dreams.  He also understood that there would be roadblocks for some of his dreams.  He chose to find ways around, through or over those roadblocks to get where he wanted to go.  He was also willing to take the advice and/or criticism of those who helped him to become better.

Do you feel that dreaming is important? Why or why not?  I do believe dreaming is important.  It is sometimes the only aspect of our lives that keeps us going on the dreariest of days.  I especially appreciated how Randy Pausch described his NFL dream.  He didn't make it, but he still worked at it and he chose to learn and use the lessons he learned from the work he put into that dream.  Granted there are some dreams that are unattainable - like playing in the NFL for most - and we choose not to learn from the following of the dream or become discouraged for not being able to obtain it, then it will hurt us.

Discuss at least one of your childhood dreams.  Explain why you believe you can or cannot achieve this dream.  One of my childhood dreams was to create beautiful clothing.  I don't think I wanted to be a fashion designer on NY's 5th Avenue but maybe I did.  I learned to sew because my grandmother was trying to teach me a lesson.  I learned to sew despite opposition.  And I have created beautiful clothing - though I've never had a "collection".  I have made wedding dresses.  I have made costumes. I have made dresses for my daughters.  Some of the clothing wasn't necessarily beautiful, but it was functional and had purpose.  And this dream still gives me purpose and helps me get up some mornings.

The journey begins - what do you do upon goal completion

I have begun classes through BYU-I online.  I have chosen to do Family History as my minor, but will probably pursue Entrepreneurship and/or Social Media/Communications as certificates.

This week through the Entrepreneurship readings, I'm a little excited and a little apprehensive about this course.  I think it will help me define my future focus in my life and give me tools to move forward.  I also think this course will help me mentor my children as they move forward in their lives as well.

The question that came to my mind this week, as I was pondering what I was learning and from some of my own personal experiences, is what do you do after you have accomplished your goal?  I'm really hoping this question will be answered in this course.  There are some goals that are ongoing or perhaps we know what we will do after the goal is accomplished, such as having the goal to return to live with Heavenly Father.  The Plan of Salvation teaches us what will be ongoing.  But in the case of accomplishing my weight goal, what do I do after that?  I know (and hope) to maintain that goal, but maintenance seems anti-climatic after that.  Another aspect I've seen at the completion of a goal is starting a business.  In the research I've done for my passion of convertible clothing, I've noted a lot of businesses get in and then get out (or they fall out).  I've talked a little bit about this with my brother, Joe, and he told me that you need to have your business ready to sell.  I was a little reluctant to accept his statement, but then as I've "wondered" through these small business, I begin to see what he means.

FoReVeR Family

I didn't realize that it has been almost a year since I've visited my own blog. 

To recap our year - our son is serving in the Jackson Mississippi mission in Hodge, LA currently.  He is loving it!  While he is serving has given my husband and I moments to reflect on our own missionary service - one should be handed a degree in Sociology upon release.  One learns so much about others, about self and about God while serving.

Oldest daughter now loves Alaska.  She spent last summer there, as well as almost another six  months away from home between Oregon and Alaska starting last December and coming home in time (barely) to attend Trek with her GA stake.  (She attended Trek in Alaska the week before.)  Yesterday, we just got the news that she will be allowed to start the Pathways program through BYU-I for her senior year of home school.  She is also spending time with the sister missionaries in our ward and the Singles branch.

Middle daughter is determined that no one will leave home again.  She has shackles hiding in the attic for brother and oldest sister to keep them home. ;o)  She is coming to grips with being 16, learning to drive, and bossing everyone around.  She loves her zebra prints and history.

Youngest daughter is the sunshine of our lives.  She displays determination so effortlessly.  She is trying out vegetarianism.  She is making progress with her mathematic skills.  She completed her Personal Progress. 

I'm so blessed to have such wonderful children.  Don't get me wrong, they make mistakes and have their quirks but they truly love God and try to serve well.  The laughter is back in our lives with them home again (Son is not home of course, but we usually get a weekly letter that adds to the joy of our lives).  Not many moms can come home to a home cooked meal every day after work.  We are fortunate to be able to sit down to dinner almost every night together and talk about the day's happenings.  I love watching my children grow into themselves and grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I also have the most wonderful husband.  Youngest daughter gets her sunny personality from him.  He is patient, kind, charitable, and a hard worker.  He is so intelligent.  I married the right man.  Has our marriage been perfect?  No.  But one of us had to grow up (me).  22 years and counting.  Oh, we went to Vienna, Austria together this year.  Well sorta - he went for a conference and I went exploring.

We also have the best extended family.  Husband's parents will begin serving as temple president and matron in November at the Spokane Washington temple.  My parents pop in for visits here and there.  My oldest middle brother and his delightful family came for a visit.  Husband's younger middle sister and her husband came for a visit.  Several of my siblings keep middle daughter in frequent flier miles as she travels around to help them out with their children. 

"Ohana means family.  And family means you are never alone."  Lilo and Stitch.  So true!

May you enjoy your family.

P.S.  I have another blog about clothing - check it out Convertibles2Go.blogspot.com.